On scrummaging

Oh, the power of those All Blacks.

Hot off the heels of making Martyn Roberts the guilty party when tackled around the neck by Dan Carter, they have now managed to get their pet poodle, Referees head Paddy n'O Brain, to confess that all those who thought the Italian front row pulverised them were in fact wrong.

What actually happened was that the nasty Italians, lead by the arch villain Castrogiovanni, were cheating all day, and in fact a penalty try should have been awarded to the ABs, notwithstanding the fact they were scrummaging 5 metres from their own line.

What rotters those wops are to bend the rules like that, and how awful for poor little Wyatt Crockett (one of the 33 props uses by the ABs in the last 2 years in a desperate attempt to have a front row which could compete with Australia)

These are, of course, an entirely different set of All Blacks to the ones who laughed when Beastly Mtarawira illegally outscrummaged Phil Vickery and said "it's a man's game, deal with it on the park".

They're not even the same ones who moan every time another team copies them and passes the ball forwards at a 45% angle.

And now, in attempt to dictate the style of match against England this week, they have the nerve, the hard rind, the immortal crust to claim that only a running game will satisfy the public.
Someone should take these arch whingers to one side and quietly explain that it is only in their own country that the game is in tatters.

In the NH, record crowds delight each week in seeing proper games of rugby, hard fought in packed mud between teams who get on with it.

In NZ, however, dwindling crowds sit bored by prancing, make-up wearing show ponies playing a sort of elongated version of sevens, whilst their top players depart for foreign shores with the regularity of Circular Quay ferries.

The Super-Duper 75, or whatever it is, and the Air NZ Cup, are a farce. The EPL, Heinken Cup, Magners league and Top 14 are magnificent. They prepare players for real battles, such as World Cup quarter and semi finals.

But doubtless this too will be eroded by the moaning men of the South Pacific islands - given they are hosting the next tournament, we can doubtless expect, shortly after their departure in the qualifying stages, a retrospective rule to be introduced which declares them the winners.

Plus ca change........