On the Try Nations

The annual tackle-free tryfest, more commonly known as the tri-nations, in which Australia, NZ and South Africa play each other at home and away ad nauseam until TV audiences dip below 1000, starts this weekend.

Regular followers will be aware that matches are carefully orchestrated by SKY TV to ensure maximum points are scored by both sides, whilst try saving tackles are likely to result in the offending player being stood down from lucrative advertising contracts for up to 2 matches.

For the opener, Australia, under kiwi coach Robbie Deans, come to fortress Eden Park. The All Blacks will doubtless win, courtesy of the special IRB dispensation which allows them and them alone to pass the ball forwards on any angle up to 33 degrees. They welcome back captain Richie McCaw, who would surely in any other country be known as Richie McCaught, because he would be, but are still with world's greatest ever fly half Dan Carter, a player so good that kiwi scribes devote even their cricket column to reminding us how he, and therefore the whole of NZ, punches about their weight for a small country.

New Zealand, who recently drew a series against a French team drawn mainly from 5th division clubs in the Alsace region, are struggling after losing the last world cup, half their team to the mighty Euro, and more recently a number of key players to injury. They also appear to be having real difficulty remembering the words of their national anthem.

Australia, on the other hand, have taken the opportunity recently to blood some new faces, and appear to be building a squad of depth and talent.

How the South Africans fare will probably depend as much on the instructions of their Indian bookmaker as it will their natural form. They must also deal with their Coach Pieter de Villiers, a man who regularly makes Eric Cantona look lucid. Nonetheless they appear to be head and shoulders above the rest, and should win the tournament with ease.

The prospect of the All Blacks enduring a slump in form 2 years out from a World Cup will send worries throughout the rugby world. Traditionally they peak when it really doesn't matter before slumping in must win matches. Might they have found the right formula this time?