On domestic violence

South Wales Police have reported that domestic abuse complaints rise by up to 80% at 6 Nations time.

Well of course they would - after Gatland has let you down again with some dodgy selections, Powell has needlessly given away 7 penalties, England have won by 7 points and you're 9 cans of Brains Dark to the good, well it's clearly all the wife's fault, so why wouldn't you smack her round a bit?

It brings to mind the old saying: "What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already"

Picture the scene.....

Dai Jones is slumped on the couch (no sofas in Wales, and only the really smart set have settees). In front of him Dewi Morris (that damned traitor) is interviewing a victorious Steve Borthwick, whose rather annoying nose cut has flared up again. Wales, who lead 27-0 at half time, capitulated in the face of a Johnny Wilksinson drop goal onslaught in the second half to lose 30-27. In comes the wife.....

"Oh, has it finished, who won?" she says.

"The Sais", mutters Jones, who is struggling with Brains Dark and speech.

"Oh, didn't they play very well then? " she enquires gaily.

"It doesn't bloody matter if they play well when every bloody decision goes against them" growls Dai who is sinking deeper into the mire.

"Oh you always say that when they lose. I expect the English are just a better team"

"No they're not, they're bloody crap, and we are much better, but fate once again has conspired against us and thanks to a blind linesman we had a try disallowed in injury time as well"

"Oh calm down", she says, "are you going to be in a bad mood all weekend?"

At which point the good Mr Jones would indeed be remiss if he didn't stand up and give her the slap she so thoroughly deserved.

If women took more time to understand the 6 Nations, and what it means to their menfolk, then incidents of this kind could be avoided.

And if that's not possible, because you married some bra burning, hairy legged hockey fan, then suggest a trial separation for Feb and March each year.

Because it is about to start, and it is indeed serious business!