Like an over pampered rock star, waiting until the audience have screamed themselves hoarse begging for more, Tiger Woods has finally announced he is back for an encore.
Or could it be that, fearing he was about to slip entirely below the radar, his advisers have forced him into a return for golf?
It is news which provokes more questions than it answers:
Will bully boy, the universally loved Steve "3 wise monkeys" Williams be on the bag? And how will he cope with the inevitable drunken heckling of his boss that is so typical of the lively Augusta crowd?
Will anyone within a hundred mile radius be able to get a cocktail, as thousands of pneumatic, blond and highly intelligent waitresses descend on the hallowed turf of Augusta and scream "get in my hole" every time Tiger gets his hands on the shaft of his driver?
Most importantly of all, will he win?
NOSf hopes not. No man should be bigger than the game itself, and a facile victory would instantly return Woods to the bad tempered, arrogant man he has been since he first (dis)graced our screens in the Masters. I for one have had quite enough of that sullen, spoilt demeanour.
Woods is a man to be admired for his results, but precious little else. So let's hope big Phil can beat him down the stretch. That would be poetic justice indeed.
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