On Souties and sweeps

Rumours have reached N1SF, rumours so shocking that if true will shake the foundations of the cricket world to it's core, and result in a Tsunami so all encompassing that the game may never recover.

What are these rumours? Well, I'll tell you.

It is said that Dr Ali Bacher, the man who masterminded South Africa's transition from the cold war years of Apartheid to full reintegration in the global circuit, put in place a fiendishly devious scheme know as Operation Soutpiel.

Soutpiel involved the recruitment of the children of several fanatical white South Africans, children who displayed prodigious cricketing talent as youngsters, and sent them overseas to be embedded as deep sleepers in other countries, much like the Sonnenkinder of the Nazi Germany (although there is little if any compelling evidence that cricket formed any part of Hitlers plan for a fourth Reich).

Bacher's henchman, who recruited these children, was, so the story goes, an all too believable Hanse Cronje.

Amongst the members of the Soutpiel squad were, according to the rumours which have reached me, three boys by the names of Strauss, Pietersen and Trott. Their mission? To play their way into positions of trust in their adopted country and, when the spymasters in their homeland called, to throw away their wickets.

After watching the third test, this apparently far fetched rumour started to gain some traction with me. Strauss and Pietersen, who have little to prove at this level, had no problem gifting their wickets away.

Trott, who is new enough not to have internally resolved the "do I betray my country or average" question yet, seemed to struggle in the second innings, but presumably received some threatening text messages during the lunchbreak and capitulated when appearing set.
And so the rumour gains traction.

Like any sleeper, when activated, their cover is blown, and so the final test, the one SA need to win in order to square the series, will be a compelling event which could see the end of these three in English colours.

Much depends up on the SA X1 - if they cannot achieve superiority in their own right, then the hard word will descend on the Soutpiel three, and they may be forced to sacrifice their careers (although of course not their IPL contracts) by being dismissed cheaply.

This sort of chicanery can only add to the drama of the modern game. Will Strauss, the most convincing foreign English captain since the Nawab of Pataudi, face an inner struggle when called to account. Is Pietersen's ego so big that he will find it unavoidable to reply to questions about his technique with a big innings? And is Trott, the most recent addition to the side, little more than a hitman sent in to ensure these two betray the Brits, or else run them out mercilessly?

Drama indeed. And more than a little believable!